I’m too old to be playing the who text who first game and because you’re 10 years older than me, you’re definitely too old to to be doing that shit too.

so this one week (so far) of silence breaks my heart.

and i know i could just pick up the bleeding phone and text you or call you because unlike what feels like everyone else in this solidly unfair world, the universe decided that you and me -  we should be placed a seven and a half hour plane ride away, planted in an entirely different continent from each other, oceans and mountains apart and and you’re living in a place that two hours into the future while I am two hours behind. 

but i miss you. and i am so mad at you but i miss you.

and i need you to be the one to reach out this time. i just need it that way. i am not sure how that sounds but that is what I need. I need you to be the one to pick up the phone and reach out. 

because, in all fairness. I have done my part.

we have been at this since november last year and I have done my part.
everyday I reach out, the best I can.everyday.

how are you, what are you up too, how’s work, have you eaten, how are you feeling, are you feeling better, how’s the family, how’s this, how’s that, what did the doctor say sweetheart, what’s bothering you baby.

you said you wanted to wake up and my face will be the first thing you see. you said we’d spend the day being lazy, have eggs and watch TV. the normal things. the everyday things.

so i flew over. and for nine days, we woke up next to each other, just like we always said we would, you were the first thing i see every morning. and we did the normal everyday things, you make me cereal, i made your coffee, you asked nicely if i could do your laundry, i packed our things for our sleepover at your brothers, i made the bed, nagged you to clean your car,  you kiss me goodbye before you head of to work, i peeked in the window and watch you go and i fell in love (even more) with you and then, with your family. i even fell in love with the dog.

so then, to come back and still continue to try the way i try. and have you tell me again, that this is hard. its well, you know, disheartening. just so utterly disheartening. i see us together and i see something, i just need you to see it too, handsome.

so yeah, there. i’ve said it. 

I know its hard. but make a plan. make a fucking plan, B.
that is all it takes. 

"Never ignore a person who loves you, cares for you, and misses you. Because one day, you might wake up from your sleep and realize that you lost the moon while counting the stars."

— Nico Lang (via desolle)

(Source: onlinecounsellingcollege, via h-ula)

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

Louis de BernièresCaptain Corelli’s Mandolin

wearcolor:

Tanja Gacic - The Cut
homedesigning:

Bathroom Vanity Ideas (via Bathroom Vanity Ideas)

homedesigning:

Bathroom Vanity Ideas (via Bathroom Vanity Ideas)

(Source: strives, via thatkindofwoman)

he said, she said:

Remember when you were at that lovely wedding of a good friend of yours.

You sent me a picture of the scene and you said, I wish you were here.

And I said, I wish I was there too, I’d love waking up next to you, with that view.

"There are two types of waiting. There’s the the waiting you do for something you know is coming, sooner or later—like waiting for the 6:28 train, or the school bus, or a party where a certain handsome boy might be. And then there’s the waiting for something you don’t know is coming. You don’t even know what it is exactly, but you’re hoping for it. You’re imagining it and living your life for it. That’s the kind of waiting that makes a fist in your heart."

— Martine Murray How To Make a Bird    (via cross-rogues)

A fist in your heart

(Source: alexachungmtv, via cross-rogues)

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